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Monthly Archives: December 2013

How to write (an in-depth guide by Gry)

Congratulations! You found the most useful guide to teach you how to write! Yes, you, and definitely no one else! It is exclusively tailored to your needs and personal preferences, completely free of charge! (Disclaimer: your time can and will be wasted. No refunds.)

This part is going to teach you the most important basics and is the first of many important and life-changing lessons, completely in text for your convenience! Because… because you should be able to read if you want to write. If you can’t, then… how did you find this?!

Step 1: Writing words

Words are sequences of letters that make sense. Depending on what you want to express, you need different words. The word word is a word that describes word. The word long describes things that are long. ‘Long word’ would describe a word that is long, but is not a long word itself, rather two words placed in sequence. If more words are placed in a sequence that makes sense, it is called a sense-sequence, or sentence for short. (Side-note: short is a word that describes short things.)

Step 2: Writing sentences

This is a sentence. This is how they are written.

Step 3: Writing different sentences

By arranging the same words in a different sequence, you create a different sentence. That way, you can have the illusion of creativity despite writing the same sentence you wrote moments ago. Because you can create a different sentence by simply arranging the same words in a different sequence.

Step 4: Coming to an end

If you want to be considered a professional writer, it’s important that you not only put a lot of thought into the beginning of a text, but also the ending. You want your ending to feel satisfying and clear, or your readers might

Epilogue

So now that you know the basics, have you tried it out yourself? You can either pick up a pen and draw letters on a piece of paper to create words, or grab your keyboard and write on your computer, or take your phone and write someone a message, or buy an old typewriter at a flea market that probably doesn’t work anymore because the seller ripped you off, or attach a banana to your phone and smear it on your laptop while sitting on a broken type-writer that you magically converted into a tire swing hanging from the ceiling.

So easy a monkey could do it.

Next time: How to write a story.

 
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Posted by on 22/12/2013 in Announcements

 

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