Random News: Shadow Worlds and Gimmicks

15 Jun

Hey y’all! Wow, these are probably the most random Random News yet. Because I have absolutely nothing “News”-like to talk about. Oh well, it’s not that I ever wrote anything really interesting or surprising in the three months of our blog, so what’s the difference. I will just tell you about video game-related things that bother me lately, that’s not a bad idea. Everyone should do that once in a while.

Other than Neil Patrick Harris showing interest in Kinect Disneyland Adventures, there were only three things that caught my attention during the last month. First of all the E3 of course, but that rant is going to be long, so that will have to wait until the end. Let’s talk about something else first.

As you might have noticed from my latest reviews, I have a PS Vita now. I reviewed about two games on that system and… that’s all I have! What the hell?! Alright, the system is still pretty new, so it will take a while for good titles to come out. That’s not a bad thing. Of all games available I chose the two with the longest play-time, so I woouldn’t have time for other games anyway! Over 4 million hours, hell yes! Ah, but soon, there will be more to add to my library. First the now available Gravity Rush that I preordered and I HAVE TO WAIT FOR UNTIL MONDAY BECAUSE OF SLOW- *wheeze* No, let me calm down for a second, that’s not what I wanted to talk about. The thing is, what I am really looking forward to is Persona 4 Golden, the remake of Persona 4 exclusive for the PS Vita! And how nice of Atlus to already provide us with the new opening theme! Hit it, YouTube!

Sure thing, buddy!

Ah, sparkling and dazzling and very RAINBOW, just how I lo- wait a second, is Yosuke living in a garbage can? Because that would explain a lot. This… I… How… …. ….. Huh?

I’m sorry, my mind must have wandered off there. So basically, I’m really excited about this release, it’s almost unbearable. The only question I’m left with is, will I chose the same team as last time when playing this version? I’m really fond of my previous experiences, so changing things might confuse me. But then again, I should try out something new…

*gulp* Hahahaha, no, that was a joke! Of course I won’t change my team! Stick to the roots or something like that, right?! A-hahaha… ha…

N-n-now what else was there besides Persona 4? I-I-I-I can’t seem to remember anymore… Was it something about Devil Survivor finally being released in PAL regions? Yeah, so-something like that… (Help me!) Oh wait, now I remember. Lollipop Chainsaw is out and – big surprise – it’s apparently only 6 to 8 hours long. Did anyone expect that? I did. It also seems this game has even fewer boss-characters than No More Heroes. At least they didn’t advertise it with “over 50 bosses” this time. Am I getting this game? Oh hell no. I’m used to games with a much longer play-time, thank you very much. It doesn’t even look that amazing, compared to other action titles. And they think they can bait me with manga/light novel-related costumes from Highschool of the Dead, Kore Wa Zombie Desu Ka?, Deadman Wonderland and Manyū Hiken-chō. However, I will not fall for this trap! What do DW and Manyū have to do with zombies anyway? Whatever, let’s move on to the E3-part of this post before I’m complaining about this game more than I should.

Yeah, you know that feel when there is silence all around the gaming world and then – BOOM – E3 strikes with all it’s announcements? It gets you excited, your body is ready, the devs have all your want, and then… disappointment. At least that’s what I felt. Now don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t there. I don’t have the money to go there, hell, I barely have money to play video games. But I watched the press conferences, and boy, those were the lamest since the $599-US-Dollars-Giant-Enemy-Crab-Ridge-Racer conference. I learned about presentations and project management for three years and have all right to say that… they were well prepared. No, what bugs me are not the presentations themselves, or the bad acting… but the line-up.

I don’t have a lot to say about Microsoft or Sony. I never cared about Microsoft in the first place, regarding video games, and Sony did a good job except for… the horrible, horrible Wonderbook demo. Stop it, Sony! Bad! You should have learned that you are not about GIMMICKS!!! *wheeze* But as far as I remember, that’s it. Beyond: Two Souls will be another gameplay-less interactive movie that I won’t play, but it looked nice at the very least. And The Last of Us, the new game by Uncharted-developer Naughty Dog also looked awesome! But the thing I was most excited about was Assassin’s Creed III Liberation for the PS Vita, because I’m one of the ten people that have one. This will be the first non-Japanese Vita game I’ll buy, what a moment!

Talking about Ubisoft, they really impressed me this year, even more than Konami. Watch-motherfucking-Dogs. Holy shit, that looked amazing. That, and Assassin’s Creed? In my opinion, Ubisoft won this E3, with only two, maybe three games. But that wasn’t difficult, the competition was really lacking.

But then where is the disappointment? Oh right, there is one company I didn’t talk about yet: Nintendo. In all these years I didn’t think I would ever say anything bad about Nintendo, but wow did this press conference suck. It was all about the Wii U, and what is the Wii U? Lame. If this really is supposed to be the first console of a new generation and not just an enhancement to the Wii, it looks really terrible. Other than the graphics being barely on par with the 360 and PS3, the only difference in terms of gameplay seems to be the GamePad. Oh wow, what an original name. And it’s basically just a controller with a screen slapped on, for a “dual-screen experience”, that doesn’t even support multi-touch! What?! Even the Vita does that! And is having two screens really that big of a deal? What is so hard about pressing START to enter a menu? Real-time inventory? You don’t need to have two screens as The Last of Us proved! Tracking invisible stuff with your second screen? Playing while someone is watching TV? Are you shitting me? Before I do that, I would socially interact with them and not play games by myself! If I would want to do that, I would grab a handheld console in the first place!

Then there is the line-up for the Wii U. For the statement of not having enough time for the 3DS line-up they sure showed us FUCKING NOTHING. Another Super Mario Bros.? Really?! Because it’s not like we have enough of those games already, what a relief!!! No, seriously, what the fuck. Just Dance 4? SiNG? And then this theme park-esque game I don’t even remember the name of that will probably come with the console like Wii Sports did with the Wii? *wii-ze* And of course, third party titles that are also released for PS3 and that green Microsoft console. But where, where are the first party games? Where was the Smash Bros. that was already announced? Pikmin 3 is all fine and dandy, but it’s not going to sell your plastic, Reggie! I can’t even believe that I’m saying this, but to me the most interesting game on the Wii U was Lego City Undercover, a game I would actually never support. Especially with that trailer. See how the old guy tells the kid to rather play the video game than with the real Lego City? That will ruin the kid’s life and steal all his imaginative abilities, you prick! It’s almost as bad as Sony’s Wonderbook! Don’t get me wrong, I love the Lego video games, this one will probably be great too, but children should play with real toys, damn it!

What a rant. I feel much better now. Look, maybe the Wii U isn’t bad, but it sure looks like a rushed and cheap product. They could have made more out of it, and when the press conference was over I was left with a huge “That’s it?”. Personally I’m not convinced about the Wii U, and I’m not even sure if we need a whole new console already. Look at Sony and Microsoft. Did they say anything about next-gen consoles? No, because there is no need for them yet. Do we really need games with graphics that look like pre-rendered CG-cutscenes? Maybe, but there’s no rush for that. Oh, but I guess the Xbox could use a Blu-ray player or Blu-ray-like technology. I heard it’s pretty annoying, having four disks for one game.

I wish I could say more, but as I said, I didn’t attend the E3 and have no right to talk about anything besides the press conferences. I’m really excited about Castlevania, Metal Gear Rising and the Zone of the Enders HD Collection though. Will I get the games faster if I push ↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A? … Apparently not. Cheers!

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Posted by on 15/06/2012 in Random News


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